What, now?


You may have heard that MTV recently decided to "pivot to video," a colloquial expression meaning "fire a bunch of writers." I was let go, as were many other, better and smarter writers. If you are an editor, you should definitely give work to them.

I'm lucky enough to still have two other jobs (at the NYT and the pod), but MTV was my main gig, both in terms of time it took and what it paid. I'm also lucky enough to have the resources not to have hustle, at least right away. People have been asking what I will do next. 

I don't know. The Times gig and the pod scratch many of the itches the brought me to journalism (I get to talk to interesting people about things that I'm passionate about, I have an excuse to explore my own areas of ignorance and remedy them). But neither them involve writing, which is the thing I've been doing professionally for [gulp] twenty years. 

Maybe this is fine. I hate writing. Writing is hard. Writing sucks. It's time-consuming and lonely. One rarely feels completely good about the finished product, there's always more you could have done. There is always someone who has said what you wanted to say first or better than you did. Your mistakes live on forever.

Then again, there is no feeling like having written something that really works. That click of knowing you've expressed a thought, communicated a feeling. It's like finding a missing puzzle piece or spotting the turn you missed the last three passes you made: relief and joy, something you worked hard for but didn't really do anything to deserve.

So maybe I'll find an excuse to do it some more after all.